


The second lead's dream (give me a highlight)

by pinkgyuuu



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Choi Soobin Is Bad At Feelings, Inspired by A Love So Beautiful, Inspired by Extraordinary You, Inspired by TXT Drama mv, M/M, Slice of Life, Whipped Choi Beomgyu, Why Did I Write This?, choi beomgyu is the coolest, choi soobin is in his own world and it is endearing and annoying at the same time, enhypen as cameo, taejun is thriving, txt soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-27 12:01:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30122457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkgyuuu/pseuds/pinkgyuuu
Summary: choi soobin is like a typical second lead role in a high school kdrama. the selfless, kindest and sucks at timing one who sacrifices himself to see his crush and his best friend get together, having their happy ending without him.now that story has ended and here comes a new character (not that he never existed in the first place, it’s just he started to be more significant), choi beomgyu, new setting, new chapter. unlike soobin, beomgyu loves to be the main character of his own story. if the whole world doesn’t appoint him to be one, he doesn’t care. well... soobin too. no one can stop him either.but when beomgyu wants to have soobin too as protagonist in his self written story, the chaos starts.and more chaos coming through because choi beomgyu is being choi beomgyu who is quickly bored, changing the story plot.soobin doesn’t like how it turns out.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin, Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai, Choi Yeonjun/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 15
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> guess who is back :D this time i am presenting soogyu. my writing style in this au is totally different from before and i actually not confident but i am having fun so why not haha.
> 
> this gonna be at most 4 chapter. just a short one.
> 
> enjoy, hope you'll like it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want to write my own story and I want to be the main character.” 
> 
> Soobin trying to find any hint of joking from his intonation to his face. Unfortunately, he couldn’t find any. Beomgyu can’t be serious, right? “I don’t think it’s possible-”
> 
> Beomgyu ignored how Soobin didn’t take it well. “Do you want to join me? I choose you to be the main protagonist with me.”
> 
> “What are you talking about..” Soobin was beyond clueless. Anything, just anything. Soobin expected this the least.
> 
> “I like you, hyung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> +i have edited a bit and added extra part ^^, hope youll like it!

Choi Soobin hoped that he never actually too invested in the kdrama  _ extraordinary you _ . Like.. how the hell he even watched that cringey predictable het high school kdrama?  _ It was his sister _ ! He wanted to put the blame on her even if he knew that her sister stopped watching around 4th episode due to her busy college life. But anyway.. Soobin didn’t exactly hate that drama. The actors and actresses are all good, the cinematography is cool, pretty and all, the drama is entertaining even and most importantly the concept, the theme of that kdrama has changed his view of how he is seeing his life. 

_ What if he is really living in a comic book? _

_ What if there is a writer out there planning out his future? _

_ What if his world is not other than a piece of drawing? _

Call him naive or dumb or whatever, you can’t really convince him otherwise. He already thought thoroughly on this and he found solid evidence too.

First. His visual. _Oh,_ he has an amazing face and immaculate body proportion. The phrase, _‘so handsome like the character straight out of a comic’_ suits him really really well. No one can actually have that perfect face as him. He can be cute and sexy at the same time, charming too. His height, _oh,_ _don’t mention it!_ He is tall and big in a good way. He can sing, he can dance and he studies well. Teach him anything new, he can learn it as soon as you want. There is nothing he can’t do. _What else…_ dimples. Yes dimples. _Ugh, that killer dimples._ Conclusion, he is beautiful and to an unrealistic level.

Second. His life is quite simple and he actually has nothing to worry about.  _ Yeah yeah  _ he is only 17, he doesn’t have to worry about paying bills, employment or world inflation.  _ Fine fine. _ But isn’t it weird how his life is so strangely good? Everywhere he goes, people would like him. He always gets a good impression from literally everyone. The teachers love him, the old ladies and men working at his school cafeteria love him too, the neighbourhood dogs and cats also love him and don’t mention the secret admirers he has.  _ There are a lot of them!  _ Okay, maybe it’s not that weird to be born as a lovable person but it just hits him how he barely does anything. He is not a social butterfly like someone he knew or someone who is always good at words also like another someone he knew or someone whose default face is smiling like another someone he knew or someone that with too much energy like another someone he knew (don’t curious too much, we will get back to them later). Choi Soobin is that quiet boy, only talking loudly in his head, never making a bad choice, luck always on his favour, can be intimidating but everyone knows he has the heart of gold, having good grades since forever, always found at library and reading as a hobby. For details, he is that one boy sitting by the window in the class, and the sunlight from the outside seems like only highlighting his existence like a halo or whatever they call it. Conclusion, he is quiet but significant which is absolutely absurd.

Third. Okay, for this one, it’s quite interesting. It is his circle of friends who he believes are also the main characters like him. Let’s change the narration style. Imagine Soobin was on his way to school. All ready with neat uniform, his mom made a korean breakfast full meal that morning, he was having his breakfast with his dad and his sister just happened to already late for her morning class so she shoved three pieces of kimbap that she stole from Soobin’s portion into her mouth, she earned a nag from their mom, their dad only laughed and told her to have a good day and Soobin just shook his head watching how clumsy his sister unlike him.  _ Well, you guys know that kind of scene, right? If you guys don’t then, it’s okay, we go on. _ Then the next scene was when Soobin walked out from his house. He put on his airpods, while walking to the bus stop. Enjoying the few minutes of calmness of the morning air with his favourite songs on, until.. someone pulled out one of his airpods, and greeted him a good morning with high tension.

“Good morning, Soobinie hyungie!!!” 

There, that someone he knew with smiling as his default face, Hueningkai. He is a neighbour two houses away from Soobin, two years younger and they knew each other since they were babies. Their mothers are good friends so Soobin can actually claim Hueningkai as his younger brother. Their personalities are different, _obviously._ Unlike Soobin, Hueningkai is naturally, effortlessly adorable and lovable. A self-proclaimed human vitamin which no one can’t disagree with, only by his existence, he can make anyone happy. His specialty is in the music field and instruments. He is good _good_. People call him a music prodigy but this is Hueningkai we are talking about. He always keeps a low profile and humble, never once seen arrogant. He is a nice kid after all. _Okay, let’s talk about his visual!_ If Soobin thinks he himself is beautiful, Hueningkai is _godly_ beautiful. He has unique face features due to his mixed genes and super tall too. When they were walking together side by side like this, it was a pleasant sight. A tall handsome boy and his tall handsome friend. _What could be better though?_

Okay, to the next scene, when they arrived at the bus stop. They saw a boy with an unbuttoned white shirt showing his black t-shirt under and his blazer only hanging loosely there on his shoulder...  _ well there were a lot to comment _ but let’s just say what he was wearing is not an appropriate school uniform. His hair too, it was blue. Strangely that colour suits him well. Maybe it is because his face.  _ Oh that face.. _ the charming feline eyes, sharp nose and that slight pouty sexy pink lips..  _ What can go wrong with that super attractive face though.  _

“Yeonjunnie hyung is early today, huh?” Hueningkai said to him. And yeah, it was a rare sight seeing the eldest in their circle of friends, not panting upon arriving at the bus stop. 

He is the social butterfly that another someone Soobin knew. Choi Yeonjun. Full of charms, the coolest person (and he knows it), an excellent dancer, multitalented, athletic, smooth talker, lowkey the cutest one and yeah, that one popular boy where not only the whole school knows but the whole district knows him and by that means,  _ all age _ . 

He was wearing his airpods too and unlike Soobin,  _ he danced _ **_._ ** But as soon as he saw the two, he stopped and a broad smile stretched over his face. 

“Good morning you two!” 

“Hey, hyung!” that was Kai. Soobin only nodded as a reply.

And there came, another someone who is always good at words that he knew. 

“Hyung, when will you ever dress properly to school?” Rather than a friendly greeting, he was staring at Yeonjun from head to toe, judging.

“Oh, please Kang Taehyun. You can’t deny I look hot like this aren’t you?” that hyung was trying to give a wink but he just can’t so it only turned out as blink.

And Soobin could see the younger blushed even if it was just a blink. It was from Choi Yeonjun so,  _ understandable.. _

So, yeah. That’s Kang Taehyun. Same age as Hueningkai, the shortest when he is with them and actually tall in general. His visual is more insane than any of them. He has two big pretty eyes, big sharp nose and plump glossy lips and all of that fit perfectly in his small face. He is so damn handsome, too intricate to explain unless you see it yourself. Despite his small build, he is strong. Really strong. He is a gym boy, athletic, ace at boxing and swimming (he represents the school in that two sports), sing very well like very very good, can dance, can cook, generally creative, can do magic tricks, good sense of humor, competitive, his intelligence is inevitable, caring, the loveliest, that one friend who always put himself last, the problem solver, mature but can be childish sometimes, endearing, sometimes tiny mannered, has good leadership, responsible, speak prettily, considerate, the only thing you (read: Soobin) need after a long bad day, that one person you (read: Soobin) seek for advice and…  _ waaaait…  _ Soobin was just not assembling all the good traits that exist and giving it to Taehyun.  _ To Soobin, Taehyun is everything. _ His everything-

  
  
  
  


Let’s skip to when they arrived at school already. They exited the bus and at the same time, a luxurious car stopped in front of the school gate. There he was, another person from their circle, someone with too much energy, Choi Beomgyu. Rather than walking toward his four other friends, he was  _ hopping _ and actually Soobin rarely could see him walk silently,  _ yeah that is what too much energy means. _ Beomgyu is a bit different from the other three. Yeonjun, Taehyun and Hueningkai are all his childhood friends. Living in the same neighbourhood, they basically grew up together. Beomgyu appeared in their life just recently. Around two years ago, when Soobin and Yeonjun were in their last year of middle school, he was transferred, sharing the same classes as Taehyun and Hueningkai despite him actually being a year older than the other two because he skipped a year of school. Soobin didn't actually know how and when Beomgyu became a part of them. It naturally happened. And yeah they are five now.  _ Five is a good number though.  _

“Oh! Is it really great to see you guys! I miss you guys so much!” He skipped school yesterday, that’s why. Beomgyu was expressive (read: dramatic) like that. He was talking with his whole body too.

He is a bit taller than Taehyun and he has the tiniest manner. Everything he did is tiny. That sparkling eyes, fluffy hair and doll face, Beomgyu’s visual is amazing too. That boy is pretty. Very pretty to be honest but with his sometimes annoying narcissism, Soobin never said it out loud. 

Soobin thinks that Beomgyu is the hardest to understand than the others (read: weirdest). He is loud, bright, excited 24/7 and restless. But at the same time, he can be the quietest, reserved, spaced out a lot and just sleep. And never in between. That boy came from a loaded family but he is humble regardless. A dumb and impulsive too but no one really believes that when he holds his paint brush, ready to create a masterpiece. Visual art, that is his speciality. He is interested in music too and currently learning guitar with Hueningkai. Beomgyu has a lot of wonders and is never shy to express or let it out loud. While Soobin calls it impetuous, he calls it passionate. Well, Soobin is still in his getting to know Beomgyu phase. Putting everything aside, Beomgyu is a nice kid, someone who is good to be friends with.

Okay, let's go back to the point why he thinks how his life is only a comic story.  _ Look at his circle of friends! _ All of them have distinctive personalities, immaculate visuals and perfect biography and out of all people, they are together as _ friends _ . Isn’t it crazy? It can’t be real unless they are some main characters of high school fiction. Soobin is confident in that.

But now, the real question..  _ Who is the main protagonist? _

Of course Soobin already thought about that. At first he thought, he might be the main protagonist. Well, look at how perfect he is and all, how can he not be the main lead? But his life is too perfect for a lead. His family condition is good, he has a clear dream, no one hates him and the only problem he has for a while is  _ Kang Taehyun and his undefying crush on the younger. _

He likes Kang Taehyun. Maybe too much. From the love of a big brother towards the younger ones, it grows beautifully also painfully into a massive romantic way. Soobin knows it is love, he is really sure of it and that’s contributing to the evidence why Soobin is not the main lead who is typically bad at feelings, oblivious and annoyingly in denial. Choi Soobin believed he was the second main lead. The one who is always a few steps late, with unrequited love and as long as he sees the love of his life is happy, it’s more than enough. Earlier, it may be written that Soobin is always blessed with luck. Scratched that. He is blessed with luck in everything but not love life. He has it hard and the strongest one. 

So, it can easily be predicted that the main protagonist is Kang Taehyun. Soobin wasn't really sure of his shortcomings that needed to be developed throughout the story as he always sees Kang Taehyun as the most perfect one but sure, he wasn’t complaining either because Taehyun is the only one that fits the role (tldr: Soobin is whipped). 

And the other lead aka the destined Kang Taehyun’s significant other is… Choi Yeonjun. He has the tsundere vibe and everything about Yeonjun screaming the main lead. Soobin didn't disagree on that. They are in the high school romance comic and Yeonjun and Taehyun just really suit the theme. Since high school, Soobin realised they both had that tension and secret that they shared only between them. Something happened between the two that none of him or Hueningkai or Beomgyu seem to have anything to do about it. It is like they have their own story about them and the other three only needed for support and to keep the story going. 

Soobin is needed when Taehyun gets into the deep hole of confusion or anxiety as emotional support and when Taehyun seems lost and needs guidance especially when it is regarding heart and feelings. Sometimes he is also needed to spark jealousy in Yeonjun so that he is not stuck in his oblivious state. Well, he is important to their story. It’s great but not when he realizes that he works the hardest to make his best friend and his crush having a happy ending together while he is left alone at the end. 

Hueningkai has a quite supporting role too. He did what Soobin does sometimes and struck some senses to Yeonjun and Taehyun how they both actually meant to be together. He is the angel. The angelest of all angels, also a scene stealer where no one can really hate. The one that any of those 3 who is in a love triangle can turn to when they feel like craving some comfort and serenity. Soobin especially is very grateful of his existence. 

While Beomgyu, he is like that role who comes and goes as he wants. He isn’t necessarily present in every chapter but he is not unimportant either. He doesn’t have any specific responsibility in the story. Like a freelancer, he can do anything. For example, someone who wanted to bring the whole group for a vacation so TaeJun can have their own love episodes or someone who blatantly point out how Soobin is hurting himself doing all the cupid job so Soobin can spare himself some self love or someone to accompany Hueningkai when the other 3 just breaking apart. Somehow, no one really knows what he is up to actually and he is that mysterious guy in a story who knows what is going on but could care less about it. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It kinda has been over 3 weeks since the climax and here comes the resolution phase of their story. It has been a lot calmer than a few months prior and Soobin thought it was safe to assume that their story will come to an end. So.. what next..?

_ Are they just gonna keep on going with their role and later season 2 will come out? Or are they will reincarnate or reborn to another setting and situation? _ If it was the latter, Soobin hoped that he would not be the second lead again. He would rather get the role without a name like student 3 or passer by 5. No heartbreak, no commitment and maybe he would be happier.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


But none of Soobin’s questions were answered yet. Their life went on and nothing really changed except from the two main characters. Everyone seemed happy with their own character development and how it turned out. Taehyun and Yeonjun were now publicly showing they belong to each other, both were mentally developed from the life lesson they got… well, they were a lot of happier. Soobin noticed that for sure. They were happy when they were together like that. 

Then,  _ how about Soobin..? _ He is fine. But maybe not really. He lost his first love and it was nothing but pain. Taehyun once was honest to him that he couldn’t see Soobin as someone more than just a friend but somehow he learned something about the importance of self love. He was in the recovering phase and he was getting better. He still has 5 friends who are always on his side, supporting him.  _ He is not alone and he is happy about that. _ He wanted to accept that as his resolution, a closure of Choi Soobin, the second lead character of this high school romance themed story. 

  
  
  
  


_ However, there was a day, where Soobin realised the story is nowhere near the ending. Or maybe it is already the sequel but whatever it is, the story is back to the exposition.  _

It was a normal day to begin with, that breakfast scene with his family, went to the bus stop with Hueningkai, then Taehyun and Yeonjun joined them like usual, Beomgyu with his expensive car and driver and then...dozens of classes. What only that difference was the sight of Taehyun and Yeonjun intertwining hands, whispering to each other followed by some giggles and how both of them were all lovey dovey (they were caught kissing and making out secretly by him too sometimes). It would be a lie if Soobin was not jealous at all but yeah, he accepted his painful fate already so he thought he would be okay. 

That day, after school ended, Soobin decided to stay back at the library for some studying due to the exam being around the corner. Hueningkai had some band practices and Taejun went on their study dates on their own. Meanwhile, Beomgyu surprisingly wanted to join him. Not that Soobin didn't appreciate his company but that kid used to have personal tutors at home for extra studies and why suddenly he asked Soobin to teach him some calculus? But for sure Soobin just let him. He couldn’t say no to those sparkling puppy eyes. 

Another thing Soobin likes about Beomgyu is how the younger adapts to the person he is with. He creates a great dynamic with each of them, no exception and all differs according to their personality. When he is with Yeonjun he is just as mischievous, teasing that hyung and sometimes planning for some trouble together. When he is with Taehyun, he would be that adorable friend who always clings around because he knows Taehyun likes physical affection. When he is with Heuning Kai, he would be the most perfect hyung, babying the youngest, taking a good care of him. And when he is with Soobin.. he would… 

_ wait.. _

Soobin wasn't actually sure.. But he feels comfortable regardless. High tension Beomgyu sometimes might be a nuisance and too much to handle but when there are only two of them, Beomgyu behaves accordingly. He loves to tease Soobin moderately but not to the point where it is too much. He would listen attentively to all Soobin random rambles or any rant. He can be the sweetest one too, spoiling the elder with his favourite snacks, food and beverages. He also pays attention to little things that annoy and excite Soobin. 

And right now, they both were sitting at Soobin’s favourite spot in the library because Beomgyu said ‘ _ anywhere hyung feels comfortable’ _ , sitting side by side as Beomgyu knew Soobin didn’tt like studying with someone’s existence across him. It was really peaceful and Soobin loves it. Beomgyu understood every Soobin’s explanation and even Soobin praised him with  _ ‘you are smart, you catch up things fast’ _ the younger will reply with _ ‘no, no, hyung just very good at explaining’ _ followed by his bright eyes and happy grin. 

They had a great time studying until they didn’t realise how time flies and it was getting late. While they both packing their belongings, Beomgyu suddenly said,

“Hyung, do you remember when you said to me how we are in the comic book and the world only surrounds Yeonjun hyung and Taehyun because they are the main characters?”

That caught Soobin off guard. He actually forgot that he ever told the younger about that. He didn’t really tell people about that because he knew he would be judged or people could call him a delusional. But not Beomgyu for sure. The younger actually found that thoughts were cool. 

“Ah.. you remember…” Soobin scoffed. “It doesn’t matter actually.. It turns out a happy ending for them-” 

“I want to write my own story and I want to be the main character.” 

Soobin trying to find any hint of joking from his intonation to his face. Unfortunately, he couldn’t find any. 

_ Beomgyu can’t be serious, right? _

“I don’t think it’s possible-”

Beomgyu ignored how Soobin didn’t take it well. He took Soobin’s hand in his, softly asked, “Do you want to join me? I choose you to be the main protagonist with me.”

“What are you talking about..” Soobin was beyond clueless making Beomgyu sighed. But the younger was still smiling, eyes sparkling holding some amount of stars that totally attracted Soobin's attention. 

Anything, just anything. Soobin expected this the least.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“I like you, hyung.”

  
  
  
  
  


Soobin never saw Beomgyu with that overflowing sincerity since they first met. It was a heartwarming sight.

“I like you more than friends and it’s been awhile since I realised it.” Beomgyu continued and Soobin just didn’t know what to do. 

“I want my own story with you. Let’s create a whole story together. It will be fun.” Beomgyu’s face beamed so bright. He was so pretty like that, Soobin thought.

But Soobin didn’t think _ this _ was right.

Finally, he talked. “Wait.. Choi Beomgyu.. I.. I don’t… I don’t like you like that..” He stuttered, scared if Beomgyu might hurt. 

But he didn’t.  _ Choi Beomgyu is not a quitter. _

“Then, we can get to know each other! I will wait for you!” It sounded like a promise yet Soobin didn’t want that too. 

“No.. no.. please don’t.”

Beomgyu tightened his hold on Soobin’s hand. “But hyung.. I like you so much. I like you, Choi Soobin!”

And Beomgyu must be too engulfed with his confession to the point he forgot they were in the library and he was basically shouting.

“Choi Beomgyu, no!” Soobin already pulled away his hand from the younger, covering his face with his both hands. Yeah, everyone in the library was looking at them right now including the librarian, enjoying the scene. 

At the same time too, Beomgyu’s phone buzzed with a text message. The light on his face faltered, as it was the sign he needed to leave right now.

“Oh, my driver is here. I’ll go first. I’ll text you! Thank you for today!”

  
  
  
  
  


Soobin didn’t actually realise how or when Beomgyu completely left the library. He was still dumbfounded and confused of what was really happening.

  
  


The story should slowly come to an end already, but why suddenly he feels like the writer is already starting to plot the sequel with another theme and different concept, with different main characters? 

  
  


The story is now about Choi Beomgyu and Choi Soobin? 

  
  
  


_ Oh, Soobin didn’t like this! _

  
  
  
  
  


+extra

_ the handsomes and i> _

_ [choi beomgyu, choi yeonjun, hueningkai, kang taehyun, you]  _

_ yeonjun hyung _

[attached video]

heol

i got this from my classmates

choi beomgyu please explain

_ taehyunnie <3 _

omg

gyu hyung.. 

are you for real?

_ hueningie _

wait 

can we talk about how soobin hyung rejected him..

so.. what happened to you guys, now?

_ choi beomgyu _

why people need to record that…

-.-

but that also means they acknowledge soobin hyung is off limits right? 

choi beomgyu?!!

what does that mean?

_ choi beomgyu _

oh, i am courting you, hyung

It’s official now

hope you are prepared for tomorrow as i will latch to you all the time

no.

_ choi beomgyu _

okay. okay.

i will be less clingy but please don’t push me away yet, hyung

pwettyy plith

do what you want..wtv

_ choi beomgyu _

yayy

i love you hyung!!!

_ taehyunnie <3 _

soobin hyung you can just say yes, you know

i don’t need your opinion

_ choi beomgyu _

awww taehyunie is supporting me

_ hueningie _

so.. is this mean i need to fifth wheel yall.. 

ugh.. couples are disgusting

we are not dating btw

_ choi beomgyu _

we are not dating YET btw

choi beomgyu..

_ yeonjun hyung _

i like how this drama is going

can’t wait for more tomorrow

_ choi beomgyu _

you can look forward to it hyung

oh, should i be nervous or scared?

_ choi beomgyu _

you don’t need to 

i would never make you feel uncomfortable or scare you

i promise.

wtv.

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Choi Soobin, I don’t like you anymore.” 
> 
> Soobin was shocked in disbelief. “Uh?” 
> 
> The smile was still there, he repeated, louder this time. 
> 
> “I, Choi Beomgyu, don't want to like you anymore.”

_A love so beautiful._

No. No. That’s not some random phrase that Soobin comes across or anything. It’s just another kdrama that Soobin thinks the _so-called story_ between him and Beomgyu could be like. The coming of age drama, where the main character is having a crush on the other lead and she’s been pining over him for years (he was googling for that information by the way and finished the whole series overnight just in case to prepare himself for any possibilities). What’s different in Soobin’s version is that there is no third person who is having a crush on Beomgyu. Or maybe there is but Soobin isn't recognised yet? Well, he doesn’t know and could care less. In that drama, they eventually get together in the end. Yes, happy ending. 

But.. the thing that is disturbing Soobin is that.. _Why Choi Beomgyu?_ The writer could add a new character as a transfer student or maybe just transfer Soobin to another school and then start another love story there. That would be more ideal for Soobin. It’s not like Soobin is having a problem with Beomgyu. It’s just it will be more complicated as they are friends to begin with and never come across in Soobin's wildest dream that he would like Beomgyu romantically. Soobin can’t push the younger away as they are in the same circle of friends and it’s not good to pretend to reciprocate someone’s feelings when you are actually not. So, Soobin just ended up going on with the flow, letting the writer throw some blooming love in his heart and wait prettily. 

At first, it was awkward. If Soobin can describe Beomgyu’s affection, he would describe him as someone who has no limit when it comes to giving out love. That was so kind and sweet of him. But sometimes it can be overwhelming too, which Soobin’s introverted side can’t handle well. 

The first thing in the morning, Beomgyu will send Soobin a good morning text followed by random life quotes or silly jokes or entertaining facts. At school, Beomgyu would make sure to arrive before Soobin’s bus arrived and he would wait for him in front of the school gate to walk Soobin to his class. That one didn’t bother Soobin that much because their other friends would be there too and it was their thing to walk together like that. Then, during break time, Beomgyu will make sure to have his lunch box consisting Soobin’s favourite so the elder would have no choice but enjoying it too (Soobin is a sucker for delicious food, he can’t help). After school, when Soobin managed to stay back for revision, Beomgyu would always join him. Beomgyu is somewhat smart in certain subjects so Soobin found it was helpful having Beomgyu as his study buddy. It has also turned into a habit that Beomgyu will take the bus and walk Soobin home. Instead of the school, his driver will pick him up at Soobin’s house. Soobin didn’t really favor this one but he still had a hard time to say no to the younger. Plus, Beomgyu promised to behave and tone down for most of the time so he was getting used to it. During the weekend, Beomgyu will be using hundreds of tricks to make sure Soobin is not cooped in his room. He will make sure Soobin is dragged out of his room to hang out with him. 

Simply put, when there is Soobin, there will be Beomgyu around him. However, Soobin is never uncomfortable with all of those. Maybe a bit when Beomgyu spoiled him a lot with snacks and desserts but the younger never made Soobin feel like Beomgyu is a distraction or burdensome. Beomgyu acknowledges his limit and respects the line Soobin draws between them. He is good at reading Soobin expressions or body language too. When Soobin is under the weather, he would make sure to tone down and distance himself a metre away so he would not annoy the elder but he never left his hyung alone. 

There was a time where Soobin was frustrated with his grade and feeling he was not done enough. Soobin told everyone he wanted to be alone but based on Beomgyu reading Soobin skills, his eyes were telling otherwise. So, he stayed. He waited in 1.5 metre radius for the whole day for Soobin to open up and his wait was worth it. He only texted the elder _‘hyung, can i give you a quick hug? not a really good hugger as you but you seem to need it’_ that afternoon when Soobin seemed totally off while studying (the book was opened but he only stared at it for an hour straight) in the library. Soobin replied with a simple _‘sure’_ and within seconds, he was already in Beomgyu’s embrace, and also crying a lot. The younger showered with comforting words and pat on his back making Soobin feel a lot better. The best part was when Beomgyu walked him home and treated him to ice cream while watching the sunset. Since then, Soobin would comfortably share his concern with Beomgyu because the younger would never judge him for anything, giving the best hug, buying him the best ice cream and would never fail to make him feel better. 

Over time, they were getting closer and at some point Soobin didn’t bother having Beomgyu around anymore. To be frank, Soobin could say he spends most of his time nowadays with Beomgyu rather than the time for himself comparatively. Also, it might be a lie if Soobin is not affected a bit with all Beomgyu’s effort. He started to notice all Beomgyu’s tiny habits. How he prefers to bite his food in tiny bits, how he flicks his bangs so that he can see better, how he hums some sweet melody Soobin doesn't recognise when he is in good mood, how he frowns when he is in deep thought and how his fingers restlessly playing with just anything ‘intriguing’ in front of his eyes such as Soobin’s nails and fingers, shoelace, bracelet, necklace charm, stray thread that stuck out from the hem of his shirt and even hair when they are sitting close to each other. Sometimes, Soobin voluntarily gave his hand for Beomgyu to play with if he was in the middle of doing something. Beomgyu’s hands are so tiny compared to him and they were super soft and warm. It felt good every time but Soobin didn’t want to admit it out aloud. 

Also, there were times where Soobin’s heart fluttered because of Beomgyu. Like when Beomgyu proudly strummed his guitar and performed the song he dedicated to Soobin on his birthday, when Soobin found Beomgyu’s sketchbook that in every page was his portrait and caricature, when Beomgyu accidentally kissed him on his cheek out of happiness and every time when Beomgyu effortlessly looking very pretty when he smiled when there were only two of them, watching the sunset. 

Then, Soobin tried to slowly open his heart for the younger. He let Beomgyu rested his head on his shoulder on every bus ride, patted Beomgyu’s head every time he said thank you, took Beomgyu little hand that tugged at his sleeve into his and laced them together when they were walking, telling Beomgyu how cute he was when he blushed due to Soobin sudden sweetness and offered Beomgyu cuddles when the younger sleep over his place.

But.. that all doesn’t mean that Soobin thinks he likes Beomgyu back. It all lasted before Soobin went to college. Soobin could say if college was not giving him a very hard time, he would invest himself to reciprocate Beomgyu’s feelings. 

To make it cliche, they all five went to the same college. Yeonjun was in the dance department, Taehyun was in the mass communication department, Hueningkai was in the music department, Beomgyu was in the visual art department and Soobin went to the business department. Regardless of their own busy schedules, they still spend time together every week. Oh, for tmi, Yeonjun and Taehyun moved in together in a studio apartment while Hueningkai and Soobin shared the same place. Beomgyu got his own apartment unit on his own because he is that rich to live alone. With some life phase changes, Soobin decided to not have so much interest in doing what he wanted or making an effort to live life to the fullest. He still believes his life is not more than a comic book therefore, he leaves his destiny into the writer’s hands. Fully, 100%. 

Back to how college gave Soobin a hard time, being the main character contributes a lot to it. He has gotten a lot of attention and interest. Everyone in the department knows him (due to his visual and intelligence of course) and by that too, everyone knows Beomgyu and his relationship with him. His life was a lot of calmer before Beomgyu graduated high school. And now, having Beomgyu around back most of the time, clinging to him, some things changed. It was not the same as when they were at high school. 

‘ _They are together.’_

_‘No, they are not. Soobin obviously not interested with Beomgyu’_

_‘Their personalities are too different. It would be a mess when they are together’_

_‘Soobin always allowed Beomgyu to be around him, isn’t it to explain something already?’_

_‘Beomgyu is smart and pretty too, how can Soobin not like him back though’_

Basically, everywhere he goes, people associate him with Beomgyu. Assumptions and comments people made were really not helpful and suffocating. Soobin didn’t like it at all. Maybe just maybe, little in him changed too. Being the lead character for a while making him greedy. _He wanted all the spotlight on his own._

But sadly, Soobin thought about himself only. He never knew or ever was interested in what Beomgyu went through. Boy without pride, obsessed, worshiper and Soobin’s pet. That was the top four nicknames Beomgyu has ever got. However, it is Choi Beomgyu we are talking about, just don’t be shocked too much if he doesn't acknowledge those nicknames. 

It has been years. Beomgyu is still with his morning message and trying his best to stick to his own habit he built upon himself. Soobin sometimes wonders how he can be not tired of doing this, keep up on him. But he couldn’t say that he disliked the special treatment the younger gives him. Beomgyu would buy him food when he was too busy to eat, he let Soobin stay at his place when Hueningkai being so loud with his song assignment, Beomgyu would take care of him when he is sick, pick him up from the bar when he is too drunk to stand and ready to fight when anyone talk bad about his beloved hyung.

However, slowly, Soobin started to take Beomgyu for granted. 

Beomgyu accommodating him is a part of his life now. Rather than someone who is trying to impress him or courting him, Soobin sees Beomgyu as someone who voluntarily wanted to be used. He misuse his privilege, turning Beomgyu to satisfy his anger on some days when things aren’t going his way. 

_‘Go away! I have a lot of problems and that’s enough, I don’t need you to add to it more!’_

_‘Can you leave me alone? I don’t think I want to see your face today.’_

_‘Stop being kind to me. You know I can’t like you how you like me. It’s getting annoying now.’_

_‘I don’t know what would make me feel better.. Maybe not seeing you now?’_

Those are some examples and yes it was not only a one time thing. Not that he is unaware how his words hurt Beomgyu. He just knows Beomgyu will always forgive him and he is not wrong at that. 

Everytime, on the next day, when Soobin felt better, he would act like he never said those words to Beomgyu, saying sorry lightheartedly as if those words were not affecting the younger. He never knew how Beomgyu would end up crying to sleep or maybe not sleeping at all because of those heart wrenching lines and how Beomgyu faked a smile telling soobin he understood the elder and how slowly Beomgyu was broken into pieces. 

  
  
  
  


_Beomgyu wished he could love the elder less so he can easily stop acting like that and he will not hurt himself like he is now._

*

“Taehyun-ah, should I..give up?”

Beomgyu asked in pout, face flushed red. One hand swirling the half filled glass of beer and the other propping his chin. It was his 8th glass tonight and he was tipsy. 

“Give up what?”

Taehyun half-heartedly responded to Beomgyu. Not that he was irked or anything but it was Tuesday night which also meant that they still got classes to attend tomorrow morning and he was in the middle of working on an essay to submit. And Beomgyu was so bold to come over Taejun shared home, pleading for the younger to lend some ears and drink that much. Taehyun swore if it was about something petty-

“Soobin hyung. Should I give up on him?”

_Oh, he didn’t expect this._ Beomgyu succeeded to gain Taehyun’s interest for now. “Why? You don’t like him anymore?”

Beomgyu huffed before gulping the remaining liquid in the glass. He grunted and finally replied, “I think I am tired. Loving someone too much makes you lose yourself sometimes. I don’t want that.”

Taehyun internally sigh hearing that. He put away his laptop, scrutinising the elder’s face. He pitied him. 

It was true. Beomgyu was nearly losing himself. It started when Beomgyu was not all energised after spending time with Soobin, when Beomgyu wanted to be drunk when he is actually hate the taste of alcohol, when he prefer staying home then hanging out and when he started to insecure with everything while he is the most confident person Taehyun has ever met. Taehyun didn’t know particularly but he knew Soobin must be hurted the younger a few times already. 

He once discussed this with Yeonjun hyung, regarding Beomgyu’s condition nowadays. But they actually can’t do anything about it rather than just be there when any of the two needed it. Beomgyu is rebellious by nature. The more you told him no, the more he would do it. Advising him would be no good at all. Also, considering how they actually didn’t know what exactly happened between the two, they have no right to judge or assume who was at fault. 

However, Taehyun trusted Beomgyu that the elder is able to take care of himself. Looking at how Beomgyu realised he was losing himself, he knew he was actually worried too much. 

“So you don’t like him anymore?” Taehyun asked softly.

“I don’t know.” the elder whined. 

“What’s stopping you, hyung?”

It was a long pause before Beomgyu could say it. “5 years including those times before I really knew my feelings. I’ve endured it. Pine for him. It would be such a waste if I stopped now.”

_Fallacy of sunk cost? Really?_

“But it also doesn’t mean he will reciprocate your feelings if you wait any longer. I mean there’s no guarantee.” Taehyun was trying to sound logic at least. 

“But what if he will?” Beomgyu rebutted. Then, followed by a pause and he suddenly scoffed. “No. I don’t think so. You are right.” 

“Will you be happy if you stop?” An important question. No matter how hurt Beomgyu was right now, Taehyun couldn’t forget those time when only by Sooobin’s existence made him went over the moon. Soobin was once his happiness and Taehyun just wanted Beomgyu to consider that too. 

But Beomgyu shrugged on that. “I guess so. I can kiss everyone I want. I can have my own one night stand. I can flirt with everyone. Wouldn’t all that would be fun?” it followed by his airy chuckles. Maybe he was already drunk.

“Are you sure about it?” Taehyun asked it again just in case..

Here the Choi Beomgyu for you, exclaimed it out loud, “Yes! Choi Soobin you an asshole I don’t like you anymore you mf!”

Both of them burst into laughter but Taehyun made it short.

“Make sure you say all that in front of him tomorrow.” he said as a reminder since Beomgyu has actually exclaimed the same line when he was drunk in the past few months and never really took action. 

“Sure! I will!”

  
  
  


But maybe, not this time?

  
  
  


*

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Choi Soobin, I don’t like you anymore.” 

That line was said not in a desperate tone nor any hint of anger nor any sign of hate. It was calm and composed. As if that person who said it has thought about it for a long long time and is ready to face any consequences after. Everything from his gaze, his tone and his posture didn’t seem like he intended to humiliate the other person who he directed all the words to either. A faint smile didn’t leave that dazzling face yet. The other male always acknowledges this side of him but with that line slipped from that used to be chattery mouth, with all the serenity, Soobin just couldn’t figure it out. 

And thinking it was Beomgyu who said that, Soobin was shocked in disbelief. “Uh?” 

The smile was still there, he repeated, louder this time. “I, Choi Beomgyu, don't want to like you anymore.”

Rather than wanting Soobin to know or hear it clearly, the repetition was more likely he wanted to acknowledge the decision he made. _Well, things are real when you talk about it all aloud._

  
  
  
  


“Okay, sure.”

  
  


Some soft gasps can be heard from their surroundings. _They were the main character, remember?_ Even when they were actually talking at the end of the hallway, far from any crowds, there were always people who were interested in their life. But neither of them care about those people. 

  
  


_‘Thank god, I didn’t expect anything..’_ Beomgyu turned the faint smile into a delighted one. He thought he deserved a pat on his back for this. For not expecting anything and for putting himself above everything.

But on Soobin's side, something swirling in his heart that he couldn’t recognise. And he didn’t like the feel of it. It was uncomfortable. 

“Thank you for everything. Just want to let you know, all the time I spend with you, all of them are good memories and precious to me. So, thanks.”

“Ah.. welcome.” The taller replied. That swirl in his heart turned into a tornado. Soobin didn’t like it either. For some reason, he was staring at Beomgyu, searching for any hint of anything that he also didn’t know why. He froze there, waiting for the sun incarnate in front of him to say something, just anything.

“Oh, your lab session. You need to go now or you’ll be late.”

He didn’t want to hear that actually. “Right.” He replied, and kept on unmoved. 

  
  
  


_He was still waiting._

  
  
  


_For nothing._

  
  
  


“I’ll see you around, friend. Bye!” Beomgyu then left, disappeared from his sight.

  
  
  


He finally moved. But still, waiting. 

_Friend? Sure, they were. They will always be like that._

  
  
  


_Right?_

  
  


_So.. what happened to this sequel? It’s just it? It’s ended already?_

_Choi Beomgyu ended their story just like that. It doesn’t make sense!_

  
  
  


*

_“Soobin hyung, if one day I have ever come to you all angry and said that I hate you or I don’t want to like you anymore, please don’t believe it.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because I don’t mean it.”_

_“How can you be so sure? It has not happened yet..”_

_“I think I would like you forever. You can be an ass sometimes and make me angry but I think I would like you the same.”_

_“Then, what if you said that to me while you are not angry? Like all calm and smiling..”_

_“I don’t think it is possible but yeah, you can believe the words then. Maybe I really mean it.” “Isn’t it kinda cool?”_

_“What?”_

_“Me confronts you, telling you I don’t want to like you anymore, all confident and calm. That would be cool.”_

_“I know right. Why don’t you do it now?”_

_“No! I would not! I can’t even imagine my life without liking you.”_

_[Me too. I couldn’t imagine that too..]_

_*_

"Yeah, that was cool, really cool. But I don't think I like it. You being cool, like that, I don't like it."

Soobin wished he could tell Beomgyu that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how's the update? feel free to comment your thoughts, i really need it :D also, thank you for checking this out<33


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